Post by caroline on May 3, 2019 3:12:03 GMT -5
WINNING > WHINING
four.
four.
"You think her coming back was a mistake?"
Those words struck her like daggers piercing into her flesh. The doubt hadn't taken long in setting its course.
And yet, that question wasn't directed towards anyone around - at least not physically. Those words had rang through the earphones Caroline had in as she was in the forest, running. The few fragments of sunlight were scattered about from the thick bushes of leaves. The air was rich with the fragrance of the dampened earth for it had rained only a mere few hours before Caroline went out for her run. The soil clumped underneath each hurried step she took.
She'd use this time to clear her mind of some things. Whenever she was stressed or upset she went off to a forest, taking solace in nothing more than her and the trees around her.
But Caroline has broken that tradition and caved in a bit into the stress that she was feeling. Podcasts, dirt sheets, tweets and posts - she couldn't suppress her anxiety and let the words of others get the better of her. It was an awful habit of hers. She cared too much about what others thought of her.
Underneath the dappled shade she carried on, racing up the rocky path. The incline was exhaustive but she pushed on through, bracing her feet so that she didn't slip.
"Look, it doesn't matter how 'good' a person looks in a match. If you can't get the job done and score the win, then guess what? You're trash. It's that simple. Enough with the mental gymnastics. She's come back and she hasn't really wowed people in terms of picking up any meaningful wins. At this point, the hype is dead. She's gotta beat Leela or her career is practically over."
"Sheesh, don't you think you're being a bit dramatic there?"
"Dramatic? I'm just telling the truth, and the truth of the matter is that Caroline needs to get her shit together."
Harsh - just like someone she knew.
By then she reached the clearing; heart thumping and eardrums pounding. Catching her breath, Caroline yanked the earbuds out and took a seat on a log. She caught a good view of some thick trees and mountains ahead.
Leaning back a bit, she sighed.
"To say that my return has been mediocre thus far would be a complete understatement," she acknowledged, albeit with a tinge of bitterness as she looked off into the distance.
"For any other wrestler, a record like mine wouldn't be so damming. Most people would be able to carry on and not have to worry about something that's inconsequential to them."
"Me on the other hand? I don't get that luxury."
She shook her head.
"I suppose that's just how things are though. I came in with a lot of fanfare and haven't been able to make that hype seem valid. I should be dominating right now. I should be speeding ahead and going onwards with this comeback of mine. Instead… things have gone the complete opposite."
"Some have said that this has been all a waste. That I'm washed up and don't have what it takes anymore. Perhaps it was for the best that I stayed home and never even thought about returning."
"It's easy to think and say those things… but honestly? I'm not ready to give up. Sure, I expected to be in a better place by now, but I'm not complaining. I just have to work with what I've got. I don't have time to be all doom and gloom and cry about how everything hasn't been going my way this far. Whining doesn't get you anywhere, but winning certainly does."
She smiled.
"I wasn't able to come out with a concrete win over Roxi, but I can rectify that. It's just a shame that I'd have to beat you in order to do that, Leela."
"By the way, it's been quite some time hasn't it? Oh, I remember when you were the wrestler for GCW, and the CWC coalition as a whole. You were almost unstoppable, but now it seems like the times have changed and you're in the same situation as me. You haven't been exactly consistent. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. And sure, no wrestler is perfect… even though some of them will try and convince you otherwise. Still, I guess I just expected more from you."
"Well, at least you still have the fans."
A chuckle left the woman's lips as she shook her head.
"In all seriousness, I know that you may feel as if you have a lot to prove. Even more so than me. Just like Roxi and Julie before, you'll be wanting to make your mark with me, but I can't let you do that, Leela. I never came back so that I could be a doormat for others to easily walk all over on. I came back because I needed to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be at the top of the game and I can finally be the wrestler that I've always thought I could be."
"You've had all the adoration and praise before. I didn't. People recognized your skills and talents while I've been mocked and treated as someone who only gasses themself up to be something greater than they are. Even to this day I have the doubters and naysayers on my back. But you? You were a golden girl, and to some, you still are. You still have legions of loyal fans who will back you up and wrestlers that can vouch for you. Me? I have no one… and that's why I have to beat you, Leela. There's nothing for me to fall back on if I lose. No support or vouches. Just an endless cycle of doubters and naysayers feeling as though they were right all along. People like you are who I need to beat to shut those people up and prove that I can be the best in any promotion I step into. It's that simple, and the simple fact of the matter is that I need this win more than you can ever know."
Rising from the log, Caroline took a deep breath and placed her hands on her hips. Exhaling, she took one last shot of the spacious view in front of her.
"I never came back to fail. I never came back to disappoint. I came back to win, and try as you might, Leela, you won't stop me."
Those words struck her like daggers piercing into her flesh. The doubt hadn't taken long in setting its course.
And yet, that question wasn't directed towards anyone around - at least not physically. Those words had rang through the earphones Caroline had in as she was in the forest, running. The few fragments of sunlight were scattered about from the thick bushes of leaves. The air was rich with the fragrance of the dampened earth for it had rained only a mere few hours before Caroline went out for her run. The soil clumped underneath each hurried step she took.
She'd use this time to clear her mind of some things. Whenever she was stressed or upset she went off to a forest, taking solace in nothing more than her and the trees around her.
But Caroline has broken that tradition and caved in a bit into the stress that she was feeling. Podcasts, dirt sheets, tweets and posts - she couldn't suppress her anxiety and let the words of others get the better of her. It was an awful habit of hers. She cared too much about what others thought of her.
Underneath the dappled shade she carried on, racing up the rocky path. The incline was exhaustive but she pushed on through, bracing her feet so that she didn't slip.
"Look, it doesn't matter how 'good' a person looks in a match. If you can't get the job done and score the win, then guess what? You're trash. It's that simple. Enough with the mental gymnastics. She's come back and she hasn't really wowed people in terms of picking up any meaningful wins. At this point, the hype is dead. She's gotta beat Leela or her career is practically over."
"Sheesh, don't you think you're being a bit dramatic there?"
"Dramatic? I'm just telling the truth, and the truth of the matter is that Caroline needs to get her shit together."
Harsh - just like someone she knew.
By then she reached the clearing; heart thumping and eardrums pounding. Catching her breath, Caroline yanked the earbuds out and took a seat on a log. She caught a good view of some thick trees and mountains ahead.
Leaning back a bit, she sighed.
"To say that my return has been mediocre thus far would be a complete understatement," she acknowledged, albeit with a tinge of bitterness as she looked off into the distance.
"For any other wrestler, a record like mine wouldn't be so damming. Most people would be able to carry on and not have to worry about something that's inconsequential to them."
"Me on the other hand? I don't get that luxury."
She shook her head.
"I suppose that's just how things are though. I came in with a lot of fanfare and haven't been able to make that hype seem valid. I should be dominating right now. I should be speeding ahead and going onwards with this comeback of mine. Instead… things have gone the complete opposite."
"Some have said that this has been all a waste. That I'm washed up and don't have what it takes anymore. Perhaps it was for the best that I stayed home and never even thought about returning."
"It's easy to think and say those things… but honestly? I'm not ready to give up. Sure, I expected to be in a better place by now, but I'm not complaining. I just have to work with what I've got. I don't have time to be all doom and gloom and cry about how everything hasn't been going my way this far. Whining doesn't get you anywhere, but winning certainly does."
She smiled.
"I wasn't able to come out with a concrete win over Roxi, but I can rectify that. It's just a shame that I'd have to beat you in order to do that, Leela."
"By the way, it's been quite some time hasn't it? Oh, I remember when you were the wrestler for GCW, and the CWC coalition as a whole. You were almost unstoppable, but now it seems like the times have changed and you're in the same situation as me. You haven't been exactly consistent. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. And sure, no wrestler is perfect… even though some of them will try and convince you otherwise. Still, I guess I just expected more from you."
"Well, at least you still have the fans."
A chuckle left the woman's lips as she shook her head.
"In all seriousness, I know that you may feel as if you have a lot to prove. Even more so than me. Just like Roxi and Julie before, you'll be wanting to make your mark with me, but I can't let you do that, Leela. I never came back so that I could be a doormat for others to easily walk all over on. I came back because I needed to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be at the top of the game and I can finally be the wrestler that I've always thought I could be."
"You've had all the adoration and praise before. I didn't. People recognized your skills and talents while I've been mocked and treated as someone who only gasses themself up to be something greater than they are. Even to this day I have the doubters and naysayers on my back. But you? You were a golden girl, and to some, you still are. You still have legions of loyal fans who will back you up and wrestlers that can vouch for you. Me? I have no one… and that's why I have to beat you, Leela. There's nothing for me to fall back on if I lose. No support or vouches. Just an endless cycle of doubters and naysayers feeling as though they were right all along. People like you are who I need to beat to shut those people up and prove that I can be the best in any promotion I step into. It's that simple, and the simple fact of the matter is that I need this win more than you can ever know."
Rising from the log, Caroline took a deep breath and placed her hands on her hips. Exhaling, she took one last shot of the spacious view in front of her.
"I never came back to fail. I never came back to disappoint. I came back to win, and try as you might, Leela, you won't stop me."