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Post by novacaine on Dec 24, 2018 20:35:31 GMT -5
The knocking on the door slowly cut through the drunken coma he spent almost every night in. Andrew Caine rolled to his back rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his head pounding like it was stuck inside a Bass Drum during the Rose Bowl Parade. He looked around the bedroom, sunlight slipping through the curtain cutting a line through the littering of Beer bottles, pizza boxes and discarded clothing belonging both to him and his stay over guests, who were usually in a hurry to leave when their time was up.
Caine sighed burying his face back in the Pillow ripe with his sweat and stale cologne. The door sounded like it was being assaulted by a team of Gorillas. Likely an associate of one his night guests, who felt his client was worth more than the negotiated price...I.E. A Pimp wanting more money for his Bitch.
" Go away, she isn't getting any more money!!" He bellowed, muffled by the pillow and the distance from the door cutting his voice short of ever reaching the Ears on the other side of the door.
Caine was blocking out the door battering and fighting his way back into sleep when his phone started to ring as well. Caine slammed his fist off the bed. " Jesus Christ! Can't a man sleep off a hangover in peace anymore!"
He grabbed the phone, pushing the button to answer " What?!"
" Mister Caine?" The voice on the other end sounded sheepish wrought with nerves.
" Depends...What do you want?"
" Uh..um Sir...My name is William Dobkins and I work for Academy Accounting"
Caine cut him off " Not interested, I got an Accountant already...I think anyway"
" I know Sir...I'm him..He is me I mean....What I mean is"
The door rattled again from the hammering on the outside of it. Caine rolled off the bed, his knees cracking and snapping like a bowl of Rice Krispies as he made his way down the stairs to the front door " Hold on a second, I gotta kick a Pimp's ass up between his shoulders"
Caine swung open the door to be greeted not by a flashy dressed Pimp named Tyrone but rather a stern looking man with a black jacket emblazoned with the Yellow lettering...I.R.S.
The man slammed a stack of papers against Caine's chest" Andrew Caine....Internal Revenue Service!"
The man shoved by Caine into the house along with several other Agents. A large U-Haul truck was backing its way up his Drive-Way while a Tow Truck was hooking up his GTO Judge, that had definitely saw its better days thanks to many a nights bouncing of Mailboxes like a game of Bumper Bowling on the way home from the Clubs. Caine stared on in disbelief..." What the Fuck?"
The voice in his ear startled him, he had completely forgotten about the phone call" Mister Caine we need to have a meeting immediately"
Caine nodded, no words in affirmation coming from his lips as he watched I.R.S. Agents tearing through his house. He looked down sighing " I hope they don't confiscate my pants."
.....
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Post by novacaine on Dec 25, 2018 22:20:12 GMT -5
The fall of 2001, Madison Square Garden in the heart of New York City in front of a capacity crowd. B.U.D. Professional Wrestling brings its huge Master of Domain show to the hallow ground of the Garden. The Main Event that night for the B.U.D. Heavyweight title saw the brash, arrogant upstart "The Cancer" NovaCaine challenging the Master of Darkness, B.U.D. legend and the current Champion...Valek
Douglas Storm " NovaCaine is reeling! The Champion has him where he wants him"
Vinny Villain" Don't count out Caine just yet."
Both men stood in the center of the squared circle covered in a mixture of sweat and each other's blood. They exchanged a flurry of punches with the much bigger Valek getting the upper hand driving Nova back against the ropes. Valek sends Nova across the ring with the Irish Whip. Nova rebounds with Valek looking for the big boot, Nova jerks the Referee between himself the Dark Demon sending the Ref into Valek's boot instead of his own face.
Storm" Damn that Nova! He pulled the Referee in the way!"
Vinny" I think the Referee jumped in the way personally"
Storm" Oh he did not!"
Valek staggers back off the contact with the Ref. Nova attempts the Superkick, Valek moves out of the way, snatching Nova by the throat with the Cancer off balance on his plant leg. He delivers a thunderous Chokeslam with Nova's body bouncing off the mat to a gasp from the fans mixed with a chorus of cheers.
Storm " Chokeslam!! Chokeslam!!"
Vinny" Nova is in trouble here but the Referee is still down!"
Valek makes the cover but Vinny is right the Referee isn't moving. The crowd counts along as Valek slaps the Mat...One...Two....Three!
Storm" This match should be over, but we don't have a Referee"
Vinny" I'm surprised these Rotten Apples can count to three"
Valek gets up grabbing the Referee by the back of his shirt shaking the Zebra trying to get him awake. Nova rolls to his stomach, reaching into the waistband of his tights. Valek turns back to Nova pulling the Cancer to his feet with a ball of fire filling the air to the whooshing sound, Valek hits the mat like he has just been shot. The big man writhes in pain, clutching at his face.
Crowd:BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Storm" Nova just used the damn fire! What a piece of garbage to cheat in what has been an epic match already"
Vinny" Get it right Storm. It isn't cheating if you aren't caught"
Nova pulls Valek to his feet sending the blinded big man into the ropes and hitting the Painkiller (Pop-up Powerbomb) the crowd seems stunned to almost silence that Nova was able to lift Valek to hit the Painkiller. Nova drops down into the pinfall, hooking a handful of tights for good measure. The Referee rolls over still very groggy and slowly starts to count.
One...
Storm" Not like this!!"
Two...
Vinny" It's gonna happen!!
Three.....
Bell rings though very few could hear it over the deafening boos.
Ring Announcer Lily " Here is your winner and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW B.U.D Heavyweight Champion....NOVAAAAACAINEEEE!!!"
A blood covered Nova sits stunned to silence in the middle of the ring clutching the Gold to his chest...He had done it, things could only go up from here on out for him. ------------------------
Summer of 2012, Andrew Caine sits in stunned silence looking at the grim face of the Doctor before him. His Girlfriend at the time and the mother of his child Roxanna clutched his hand so hard he could feel her well-manicured nails digging into his palm. Roxy was the mastermind behind B.U.D Professional Wrestling and while her and Nova hadn't always been on the best of terms they always seemed to gravitate back to each other.
Doctor" Mr. Caine do you understand what I am saying here? Both knees are going to need replaced. I would definitely advise against getting back into the Ring after the surgery. "
Nova swallowed the softball size lump out of his throat. His voice coming out raspy and more hoarse than he expected. "and if I do?"
The Doctor sighed, looking at the X-Rays hanging on the lightboard next to him..." You could be crippled. Do you understand me Mister Caine?"
.........
"Mister Caine.....Mister Caine.....Mister Caine do you understand me?"
Nova snapped back to reality looking at the man across the desk from him. The guy with his wavy dark hair and glasses thick as Coke Bottles looked like he should be starring in a remake of The Revenge of the Nerds...Instead he was delivering the horrible news to Nova.
" So I'm broke?"
William Dobkins took a deep breath, it was a helluva thing after all to break to someone right near the Holidays that they were officially broke thanks to Bank Accounts being frozen and every other viable asset being confiscated by the I.R.S. in an attempt to pay for a very, very, VERY big Tax bill. "Technically Sir...Yes"
Nova shook his head in disbelief" How the fuck did this happen? What the hell have I been paying you for all of these years!"
William's muscles involuntarily clinched tight as the much bigger man across his desk started getting very angry.
" Mister Caine, I wasn't your Accountant until recently. As I have told you, the agent that took care of your accounts has made meticulous notes about sending you Tax Returns for signatures for several years and you would consistently send the I.R.S drawings of middle fingers with the words My Money scrawled below the picture."
William held up one of these crude drawings that was now stamped with an Exhibit number from the I.R.S.
Nova flashed that infamous smirk ever so briefly. " It was a joke...Damn why is everyone so offended these days? So pay them Willy and get my stuff back. I had a trip to Vegas planned this week!"
" It's William Sir....What you are failing to understand is you have no money left to pay the debts"
" Sell the house!"
" Mortgaged....Twice"
" My Cars?"
" Confiscated"
Nova clapped his hands together " I got it...Just transfer some money from my fan club website over to cover that. I have millions of fans all around the World. There is sure to be all of the money I need there and then some"
William slips a piece of paper across the desk that Nova barely glances at " Sir, your Website has been closed since several of your Premium Subscribers reported you sending them pictures of your...Ummm genitals inside an Aquarium at a Walmart Store."
Nova chuckles " That was a joke! The NovaConda was on display like the Zoo" A smirk turning to a full on smile " for a couple girls it was a Petting Zoo that night"
William shakes his head, obviously uncomfortable with the debauchery and childish antics of his client " Nevertheless Sir that money was returned in several lawsuits"
" How about my EX? She's rich.....Yeah call Roxanna Hernandez, Foxy will help her Baby Daddy out"
William slips another piece of paper across the desk onto the already growing pile of bad news papers " That's a judgement Miss Hernandez got against you for unpaid Child Support for your child Andrew Caine Junior
Nova's head slumps " Fuck...Vindictive bitch! Make one joke about Donny building a Wall around her house and suddenly I'm a bad guy!!"
William could already get very bad vibes from Andrew Caine. One moment he appeared to be a Man-Child that had refused to grow up, but in the very next second he showed outbursts of anger so quickly that it was slightly disturbing to think this man sat between him and the door to his Office and hopefully safety beyond.
Nova ran his hand across his close cropped hair, at one time long locks filled his head until baldness begin to show up in a pattern that was slowly going to make Nova look like he was a dog with a bad case of Mange. He had shaved his head taking the lesser of two evils with his scars on his forehead more visible but the ravages of time perhaps masked away with a haircut. " So what do I do? If I work here they Bloodsuckers take everything right?"
" Well that's perhaps one way to put it. I would advise you, strictly off the record of course, to seek employment outside of the United States. Having done a small bit a research for you Sir, it appears that your name might still carry a small bit of weight with European Fans. You could perhaps seek employment there. Are you capable of still working Sir?"
Nova saw that Doctor before his face reminding him that he still would need the Surgery no matter how long he put it off, he was risking being crippled either way. The Doctor's face blurred and swirled into the bottles of pills that Nova shoved into his mouth by the handfuls each morning just to walk. Stuttering slightly " Ye...Yeah....Sure"
Nova stood up, grabbing the papers off the desk and tossing them into trashcan next to the desk " See what you can do about getting me a booking in Europe Willy. I need a key to your house and I need to borrow your Car, I spent the last of my pocket money on the Taxi here"
" Uh excuse me Sir? I'm an Accountant, not an Agent...Wait...My Car? Stay with me?"
Nova sighed " I mean you wouldn't want me sleeping on the streets would you? How could you sleep at night thinking about me being on the streets fighting the other bums for the last piece of stale bread behind the Shelter? It is making me misty eyed just thinking about it"
" Well yeah...But I mean...I only got a one bedroom Apartment so you see"
Nova cut him off" You have a Couch right?"
" Yeah...I mean guess"
Nova reached out snatching the keys from William's hand before the poor Accountant even realized he had taken the keys from his pocket to just hand over. Why did he always let people boss him around? Not this time...He was going to tell this guy where to go! He wasn't some damn pushover...He would just tell him what was up and that was that. He---
" You will be fine on the Couch...Those are usually comfy. Don't worry I will find the place myself. See you at home Willy, bring Pizza"
William stared at the door, slowly exhaling full of regret that he apparently had just let a total stranger into his Apartment and his Car...God, the car wasn't even paid for. It would be fine right? I mean he would just have to set Andrew Caine straight when he got home" It's William"
First he would start with his name.
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