Post by Chris Callum on Jun 14, 2019 7:23:12 GMT -5
The morning after Aspen had left him alone in the hotel room, Chris Callum awoke with rays of sun finding his eyes. A new day had come after all, he thought. Deep in the darkness last night, as he tried to sleep, he thought it never would. Aspen’s revenge cash grab weighed on him heavily. She made good points, he thought, but he hated himself for thinking them. In his soul, however, which he trusted but never followed, he knew she was wrong. He knew that this is a mission that would end in failure. No matter how desperately he needed money, it would never be worth the damage his reputation would take when this inevitably blew up in his face.
He blamed himself for being in this situation. The way he managed his money after the fall of CWC seemed wise at the time, but a few bad investments here and there, and money tied up in other things, meant that there was never enough cash on hand. He had to keep up appearances though, so other debts were pushed to the back of his mind. The man who conquered the wrestling world and made enough money to last other men lifetimes was now on the brink of financial ruin. It was a clear reminder, as if he needed one, that he is not as brilliant as he thinks he is.
He blamed himself for not being strong enough to tell Aspen what he really thought of her. That he hated her. That he wished she were dead. That he wanted to be left alone. But deep inside he knew that Aspen was always going to be there. Their careers, their stories are intertwined forever. Linked by success that they both wanted so desperately. Success that has cost them relationships, reputation, and money too. She was absolutely correct. Without Aspen Chaud, there would be no Chris Callum. She molded him into the man he is today, more so than his own parents or his own friends. Actually, he thought, he had no friends. He just had Aspen and employees. No one ever thought of Chris Callum as a friend. No, that’s just what Aspen wants him to think, he thought. He knew he had value as a person. He knew that he could have made it on his own in the wrestling world without her. Couldn’t he? Surely he could.
Chris Callum jolted upwards in his bed, frustrated by his own thoughts.
He closed his eyes and remembered the time when he was happiest. He held Isaac’s hand somewhere it was warm. They were going to get married someday. No, they weren’t, he thought. Because he ruined that.
He shook his head and tried again.
In this world, there was no wrestling. There was no Aspen Chaud and no Galveston, no triple crowns and no CWC. He never hid his sexuality from people. He was out and proud and Isaac loved him for that. But that world was fake. He hid for so long while pretending to be a man of the people. A flawless embodiment of every straight man’s fantasy. Aspen’s fantasy, more like. But it did work. He achieved great things.
No. Fuck Aspen, he thought. He can’t even imagine a world without her butting in.
He opened his eyes and stood up, pressing his head against the window of his hotel room. He let out a long sigh and reminded himself that he needs to accept the decisions he made in the past.
Chris Callum sold his soul to Aspen Chaud for a title win.
Chris Callum continued to work with Aspen Chaud to become the greatest champion in GIW history.
Chris Callum cheated to defeat better wrestlers, and people hate him for it.
Chris Callum played into Aspen’s vision for him and hid his sexuality. He never expressed his true feelings for the man he loved, and now that man is dead.
Chris Callum built CWC from the ground up, and made Aspen Chaud a part of it because he has no one else in the world who cares about him more than her.
And now… Chris Callum will fight in Valor because Aspen wants him too.
He banged his head against the glass a few times, and then laughed quietly.
He laughed because he knew what everyone would say if he failed. He knew what Aspen would say if he failed.
She would roll her lips against her teeth. She’d pop her thumbnail on her left hand against her ring finger. She’d say “I knew that you were weak”.
“I never failed until I invested in you.”
Et cetera. Et cetera.
She’d call Alexis Terry.
“He doesn’t get it Alexis. I need you to push him because he won’t listen to me.”
She always spoke as if he weren’t there. He hated it, but said nothing.
JUST FUCKING SAY NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
It isn’t hard! He thought. He kept thinking. It isn’t hard. It isn’t hard. It isn’t hard.
It
Is
Not
Hard
FUCK
THIS
PSYCHO
BITCH
Callum continued to laugh as he fell back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes.
It was so easy, but he’d never say it.
And now he’s going to Valor.
In Cairo, of all the fucking places in the world.
No one watches wrestling in Cairo.
No one would know his name.
No one would give a shit about him.
This “redemption” of Chris Callum was a joke.
He’d have to fight Cosmo.
And Caroline.
And all the others he promised he would turn into stars.
And he knew it would all be worth nothing.
But he was going to do it anyway.
Because he is too weak to say no.
And he laughed some more.
He blamed himself for being in this situation. The way he managed his money after the fall of CWC seemed wise at the time, but a few bad investments here and there, and money tied up in other things, meant that there was never enough cash on hand. He had to keep up appearances though, so other debts were pushed to the back of his mind. The man who conquered the wrestling world and made enough money to last other men lifetimes was now on the brink of financial ruin. It was a clear reminder, as if he needed one, that he is not as brilliant as he thinks he is.
He blamed himself for not being strong enough to tell Aspen what he really thought of her. That he hated her. That he wished she were dead. That he wanted to be left alone. But deep inside he knew that Aspen was always going to be there. Their careers, their stories are intertwined forever. Linked by success that they both wanted so desperately. Success that has cost them relationships, reputation, and money too. She was absolutely correct. Without Aspen Chaud, there would be no Chris Callum. She molded him into the man he is today, more so than his own parents or his own friends. Actually, he thought, he had no friends. He just had Aspen and employees. No one ever thought of Chris Callum as a friend. No, that’s just what Aspen wants him to think, he thought. He knew he had value as a person. He knew that he could have made it on his own in the wrestling world without her. Couldn’t he? Surely he could.
Chris Callum jolted upwards in his bed, frustrated by his own thoughts.
He closed his eyes and remembered the time when he was happiest. He held Isaac’s hand somewhere it was warm. They were going to get married someday. No, they weren’t, he thought. Because he ruined that.
He shook his head and tried again.
In this world, there was no wrestling. There was no Aspen Chaud and no Galveston, no triple crowns and no CWC. He never hid his sexuality from people. He was out and proud and Isaac loved him for that. But that world was fake. He hid for so long while pretending to be a man of the people. A flawless embodiment of every straight man’s fantasy. Aspen’s fantasy, more like. But it did work. He achieved great things.
No. Fuck Aspen, he thought. He can’t even imagine a world without her butting in.
He opened his eyes and stood up, pressing his head against the window of his hotel room. He let out a long sigh and reminded himself that he needs to accept the decisions he made in the past.
Chris Callum sold his soul to Aspen Chaud for a title win.
Chris Callum continued to work with Aspen Chaud to become the greatest champion in GIW history.
Chris Callum cheated to defeat better wrestlers, and people hate him for it.
Chris Callum played into Aspen’s vision for him and hid his sexuality. He never expressed his true feelings for the man he loved, and now that man is dead.
Chris Callum built CWC from the ground up, and made Aspen Chaud a part of it because he has no one else in the world who cares about him more than her.
And now… Chris Callum will fight in Valor because Aspen wants him too.
He banged his head against the glass a few times, and then laughed quietly.
He laughed because he knew what everyone would say if he failed. He knew what Aspen would say if he failed.
She would roll her lips against her teeth. She’d pop her thumbnail on her left hand against her ring finger. She’d say “I knew that you were weak”.
“I never failed until I invested in you.”
Et cetera. Et cetera.
She’d call Alexis Terry.
“He doesn’t get it Alexis. I need you to push him because he won’t listen to me.”
She always spoke as if he weren’t there. He hated it, but said nothing.
JUST FUCKING SAY NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
It isn’t hard! He thought. He kept thinking. It isn’t hard. It isn’t hard. It isn’t hard.
It
Is
Not
Hard
FUCK
THIS
PSYCHO
BITCH
Callum continued to laugh as he fell back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes.
It was so easy, but he’d never say it.
And now he’s going to Valor.
In Cairo, of all the fucking places in the world.
No one watches wrestling in Cairo.
No one would know his name.
No one would give a shit about him.
This “redemption” of Chris Callum was a joke.
He’d have to fight Cosmo.
And Caroline.
And all the others he promised he would turn into stars.
And he knew it would all be worth nothing.
But he was going to do it anyway.
Because he is too weak to say no.
And he laughed some more.