Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2019 15:56:19 GMT -5
Downpour
Mike had been quiet.
Periods of silence between the two people known to the world as NSFW weren’t exactly uncommon. John was the sort of person who rarely spoke unless spoken to first, and while this had taken some getting used to on Mike’s part at first, they had grown over time to appreciate the comfortable silences of they and their partner just existing in the moment, and there were even some evenings where less than a handful of words passed between them.
This was different though. The silence coming from the New Yorker’s end from the past couple days was heavy, as if they walked shrouded in a pregnant stormcloud that, while it had occasionally drizzled, had yet to unleash its full downpour.
Right now, it was all in contrast to the weather. It was an absolutely glorious day, if not a little warm, as Mike slipped into Alundra’s passenger seat, tossing their partner the keys. Turning the key, the immaculately restored emerald Mustang purred to life, and he pulled out of the parking lot outside the building housing Dr. Moriarty’s office. Mike watched out the window at the passing houses, businesses, cars in the other lane. It all looked like a muted blur. Still, they mustered a smile.
“How’d it go today?”
Both hands on the wheel, John didn’t look at Mike. Driving to him was a no distraction zone - to the point that maybe it distracted people that observed his driving, as safe as it was.
“Good.”
As he pulled into a turn lane, he flipped on the signal. It ticked in the silence between the two.
“Cool.”
Mike looked at him. He looked straight on through the windshield. They turned back to the window. They passed by some restaurants but Mike didn’t feel hungry. They hadn’t really had much of an appetite. People milled around on the sidewalks, waited at bus stops, went about their lives. A kid struggled to walk an energetic dog way too big for them to handle.
If you can’t handle this, that’s your goddamn problem. I’m not going to make my curriculum any easier because you have tits, kid. You can get tough or you can get out.
Mike’s eyes welled up, their teeth sinking into their lower lip. Their hands gripped at their upper arms- to the casual observer they’d look like they were cold, but they weren’t.
“You want to go?”
“Huh…?”
They looked up, the sudden lack of sync to their partner’s thoughts jarring and unpleasant.
“Asked earlier. Figured you were thinking about it.”
“Oh… s-sorry… yeah, I…”
They could shake it, they figured it all out. They’d have to miss the public memorial but they’d been invited to the funeral, it would be tight but if they flew right out of Missouri they could make it to Rio in plenty of time. They could do this, they could go and say goodbye to the tough, gruff, difficult to please old man who had taught them everything they knew, whose praise was so rare that when you got it you knew you really earned it, who was…
...the cloud finally broke. Mike’s head dropped into their hands, shoulders heaving as they sobbed into them. John let it happen for a moment. Still several miles away, he switched lanes and took another turn into the parking lot of a strip mall. He picked a spot all the way in the back, shaded under a tree.
“We can go if you’d like,” he put a hand on their shoulder, “You were invited.”
“I didn’t want you to have to meet him like this. He wanted to meet you, I was gonna make time, and I never fuckin’ did…”
Their voice was choppy, their face still buried in their hands. The sense of loss was absolutely overwhelming. They should’ve known better. They knew they only had so much time left because cancer was a fucking son of a bitch like that. Why hadn’t they? Well now they were, but it was too late, and they were going to see their trainer when he was laying in a box. The whole train of thought was almost too much to take.
John knew Mike was sad. And he knew that he didn’t like that. One thing he had been confronted with as of late is that sometimes being truthful in your thoughts was harmful. He despised lying. But it wasn’t lying to not say everything that was on your mind in certain situations. He knew of Race. Any consumer of the product should. But Mike was correct, they had never met. Had spoken briefly on the phone. And other than that, had garnered no attachment other than … well that is what John concluded. The man meant the world to Mike and so that is why he didn’t like this.
“Can’t change that.”
What was the alternative, John thought. He tried to stop this train of thought … it was ugly but something in him felt was necessary to let it continue. Go and do this. Get some closure. Or leave early to attempt a parlay with a piece of shit who couldn’t be bothered to learn their names.
“Mike.”
Fuck Cosmo Cooper.
“We can go see him one last time.”
Mike looked up slowly. Their eyes were tinged pink and were still very wet looking, their cheeks damp, their lower lip red from being bitten at. They stayed still for a moment before leaning forward, reaching for him across the panel between the pair of bucket seats. Maneuvering a bit, perhaps a bit awkwardly (though that was likely due to positioning), John held them as close as the layout of the car would allow.
Breathing in, then exhaling in a long sigh, Mike nodded.
“...okay.”