Post by Chris Callum on Sept 5, 2019 2:35:27 GMT -5
Hide Your Fires
“Hurricane Dorian has stalled over Grand Bahama as of tonight. Though the storm has been downgraded to a Category 4, sustained winds near one hundred and forty miles per hour have battered the island for over twenty-four hours. The National Hurricane Center is still forecasting a northward turn for Dorian Monday evening, but Tropical Storm force winds are already reaching the Florida coastline…”
The news anchor droned on as the spinning red storm drew Chris Callum’s complete attention. But then a shadow crept along the wall, and the television quickly turned to black. He turned around to see his sister, Katie, gathering her purse and car keys.
“You shouldn’t watch that. You need to be in a good mood tonight.”
Katie was young - only twenty three - and a socialite. She was thin and gorgeous with brown hair draping down to her shoulders. She looked younger than she was, and made others feel younger too. She offered Chris a nod toward the door, hoping he would join her in leaving for the evening. Chris stood, straightening his tie and trying to get the images of the storm out of his head, but he was still foggy and withdrawn.
“I don’t think we should be here. Miami closed down schools until Wednesday. I don’t see many people out and about, why should we… buck the trend?”
As Chris begged, Katie stopped in front of the mirror to reapply her marshmallow pink lipstick. She looked so sweet, but he knew better.
“Chris, it’s fine. You’re not going to melt and we aren’t going to float away.”
She snapped the cap closed and walked towards him, pulling him a step closer by his tie like a dog on a leash. When she inspected the knot, she frowned.
“Did you tie this?”
Quickly she unraveled the black fabric as Chris let out a long sigh. He looked away from her, ashamed, as she worked to rectify the knot.
“Aspen tied them.”
Her eyebrows jumped before her eyes, but soon they met his. For a moment they were both silent. There was no quip she had prepared for that.
“Well… now you’re fixed. Maybe you can watch some YouTube videos or something, big brother.”
She left him once again, this time grabbing her phone from the kitchen counter.
“This party is worth going to for the both of us. I’d like a job, and you’d like a man. So I’m going to go get a job and you’re going to go get a man.”
Katie opened the door. Wind blew the palm trees steadily on the outside. From the second floor of the apartment complex, Chris could see nothing but the dark sky ahead. He broke his focus and moved toward her, gently pushing the door closed.
“I came to see you. Not to see anyone else.”
“You’re seeing me.”
She spoke so matter-of-factly. It enraged him.
“I’m right here.”
Katie kissed him on the cheek. A moment a moment passed. And then she opened the door.
“You’re going to see a lot of people tonight. So let’s go.”
In an instant, she had pulled him out of the apartment and locked the door. The journey down the stairs and into the car was a blur. Small drops of rain dripped onto the car window, providing him something new to focus on. The car started. Lizzo was on the radio; a jolt of sound that caused his head to pulse. His sister quickly turned it down and reversed the car before pulling onto the road.
For a while, the trip was quiet. Katie, despite forcing him into this situation, recalled times when they were younger when Chris couldn’t bear to speak during car rides. She respected that. In her mind the differences between the two have lines that should not be crossed. It wasn’t appropriate for her to speak when he was frustrated.
Finally, Chris turned to her. Her heart warmed a moment. Perhaps, she thought, he wouldn’t be miserable the entire night. She flashed a concerned smile back at him.
“How long are we staying?”
Katie shrugged. She didn’t know the answer, but knew if she told him the truth she would lose him.
“I don’t think it’ll be too long… the weather is turning a lot of people off…”
Chris stopped her.
“Who are you meeting?”
She raised an eyebrow, focusing on the road.
“I came to visit you as a surprise. You’re sticking to your plans. That’s fine… I mean its your life and I just showed up and I can’t expect you to stop everything to spend time with me, but a party, Katie? If you’re dragging me to a party, it is one you can’t afford to miss. You’re going to see someone there. Someone important.”
They arrived at a red light. Katie felt trapped, but the truth was, she wanted him to figure all of this out. It was something she had been hiding for a while. Something she wanted to share.
“The party is for one of my friends. His PR firm just finished up some work with the Dolphins and they want to celebrate a job well done. I like to meet my clients at parties that… where I know the people. It’s safer there. So I’m going to meet a client and we should be discussing terms.”
He responded quickly.
“What kind of client?”
The light was still red. She exhaled loudly.
“One I need to meet with privately, so you should go… engage with someone else for the party.”
Red.
“What kind of client, Katie?”
Red.
“He is a man seeking company…”
Green. She quickly pressed the gas, Chris held onto the handle above the window. A moment passed.
“So you’re an escort now-”
“No-”
“Because that’s something Mom and Dad would love to hear-”
“I’m not-”
“They pay for everything you have, and you’re not willing to work a legitimate job-”
“Don’t assume-”
“Assume what? You just said…”
“It’s not-”
“Jesus Christ, Katie…”
“Stop!”
She turned right. A beat.
“It’s nothing sexual. They want to have a pretty girl when they go out places and I’m that girl. It pays well, and with that money I can start to be independent.”
Chris said nothing. She could tell he was disgusted.
“You’re really one to judge how someone earns money.”
“What does that even mean?”
“A professional wrestler isn’t something Mom and Dad would approve of either.”
“But I’m not a whore and I’m successful.”
She snapped as she approached a stop sign.
“So am I! At this… not being a whore. I’m not a whore. It’s not like that!”
“Okay. You’re just taking me to meet your John, then. I’m glad I flew all the way out here just for you to let me into this fucked up part of your life.”
“You’re just jealous people want me. Are willing to pay for me.”
The comment stung Chris deeply. But he was left with barely a moment to consider it further.
“This is what I’m doing. It’s not selfish because it’s my life and like you said, I wasn’t planning for you to be here. I told you I’m busy but you came anyway. So… here I am… fucking busy and I’m getting judged by you for that. As if there’s nothing at this party here for you.”
“What could I possibly do at this party, other than beat up a pervert that tries to touch you…?”
Another stop sign. This time a woman with her dog crossed in front of the car.
“It’s unsafe, Katie. That’s why I’m upset.”
“I can handle it.”
She hit the gas again. Chris turned away, breathless.
“We’re almost there.”
“Great.”
Between gritted teeth, Katie spoke.
“You need to meet this guy… Ben. He’s like you. He hates parties, but… I made sure he’d be there.”
“Is he fifty years old and rich?”
Katie shot him a look.
“He’s a few years older than me. He’s smart. If you two don’t immediately kill each other I’m sure you’ll fall in love. Then you two can judge each other instead of judging me.”
Carefully, she pulled the vehicle along the curb outside of a large, white, modern looking home. In an instant she was gathering her things and exiting the car, forcing Chris to join her or be left alone. He contemplated staying in the car. After all, how long could her little meeting take? But he remembered how petty his little sister was, and if he didn’t join her, she may never come out of that house. He gazed around, seeing only a few other vehicles outside the residence.
“Not many here. I assumed this would be a bit more… popping?”
“Yeah… I don’t know. Let’s go in.”
They did. At the door, Katie fuddled with how to get it open. One of those doors when you have to press down and then push at the same time. Chris looked through the window and saw nothing.
When they entered, there was distant chatter from the end of the hallway. The sound of the door stopped it, and suddenly a young man with a fresh face peeked his head around a wall, with a big smile and wide eyes like he was exceptionally happy to see someone else. The man came quickly down the hallway.
“Katie! I figured you decided to stay home. I’ve been texting you all night!”
He went in close for a hug, whispering in her ear.
“...This guy is a fucking lump.”
Chris turned back to the spot where the young man had first saw them. There was an older man standing there. He looked nice, gray hair finely kept; a bit of a stomach and lines on his face. He slowly approached them, less enthusiastic than the first man. Katie whispered back.
“Where the hell is everyone else? David? His office?”
The man leaned on back foot and swirled his drink.
“Well, David is here… obviously it’s his house. And his assistant came with him, her name is Sephora and she acts like her name is Sephora. The two of them went to grab more wine because they said we’d need it, but I think they’re hooking up in the car somewhere. Rest of the office decided to stay home - scared of the storm.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
The older man had finally reached them.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Katarina”
He flashed an uncomfortable smile that changed the temperature in the room. Katie laughed the fake laugh that Chris knew well. He was impressed that she had thought far enough ahead to fake a name, but that thought didn't last long before it turned into disgust.
“Well, you haven’t met me yet, really. I’m Katie, this is my brother Chris. He’s a professional wrestler and he’s here visiting. Chris - this is Ben.”
Their eyes met. The one Chris was supposed to meet. Luckily it was the younger man. Emily touched the shoulder of the older man.
“And I assume you’re Gary.”
The older man smiled.
“Yes.”
An awkward silence.
“Gary, if you could grab me a drink I’d appreciate it. Then we can go talk in the study. Sounds good?”
“Yes.”
He left, quickly. As if there was no time to waste. Katie turned her attention to Chris and Ben.
“Yeah, I can tell he’s a lump.”
Her eyes met Chris.
“Don’t say anything.”
Chris watched Gary round the corner.
“We can leave. It’s nothing. No one is here.”
Emily shook her head.
“I’ll holler if I need you to come punch him. Until then, pretend to have some fun.”
She patted Chris on the shoulder and then left to follow Gary. Chris and Ben watched the two of them exit to the study together while standing silently in the doorway. Finally, Ben spoke.
“If you sister can get anything out of that clam she really is the best.”
Chris leaned against the wall, befuddled.
“You know what she’s doing?”
Ben replied matter-of-factly.
“Yeah. Everyone does. She’s kind of a superstar. I guess it runs in the family.”
“And you’re supposed to be her friend… and you let her do this?”
Ben hesitated for a moment.
“Yeah? She’s an adult. Are you just going to ignore my compliment, by the way?”
“What?”
“I called you a superstar.”
It did feel good. But Chris couldn’t admit that, so he scoffed and began heading toward the kitchen. Ben followed closely.
“Well I called you both superstars, to be as accurate as possible. The Valor Pro Wrestling Apex Champion. What a prestigious honor.”
They arrived in the kitchen. Callum began pouring a glass of champagne.
“Congratulations, you can Google.”
He downed the drink and poured another one, avoiding eye contact with Ben who stood behind him.
“Maybe I’m just a big fan?”
Callum shook his head and turned around to make sure that Ben knew just how annoyed he was.
“You’re not. You never heard of me until Katie told you to meet me.”
Ben smiled.
“That’s mostly correct, but not entirely accurate.”
“How so?”
“We talked about you briefly in graduate school. The CWC spreading around the world so quickly was an interesting case study in marketing, communication, supply chain… you should be proud of that. But I did Google you.”
Callum scoffed and took another sip of his drink. Ben, still smiling, poured himself another.
“You studied me in school. That makes me feel very old.”
“You’re warming up to me.”
Ben flashed a bigger smile as Chris furled his brow.
“I work in PR as well. That’s where I met Katie and David… at the U.”
“Which firm?”
Callum tapped his foot.
“Sorry?”
“Which firm do you work for?”
“Oh.”
Ben hesitated.
“I’m freelance, at the moment. I work with individual clients but I don’t have a…”
“So you don’t work.”
“Um.”
“You don’t have a real job. You don’t work for anyone.”
“I work for myself. That’s work.”
“For yourself? When I do something for myself it’s usually not work. Work is the kind of thing you do for others.”
“Right. I provide support to my clients. I work for them.”
“You said you work for yourself.”
“Who do you work for?”
“Valor. Google it.”
A beat. Callum took a sip of his drink, a smile beginning to form as Ben’s faded away.
“I work for myself to work for my clients. Is that a justifiable...um… acceptable… answer?”
“You should work for your company… for your brand… Everything you do for your clients makes your company and your brand stronger, which in turn helps you. Yourself. Always keep yourself separated from the job you do by putting that middle man in there… that company or whatever. It’ll keep you sane - trust me. So get a real job. For someone or something.”
Ben took a sip of his drink. By this time Callum was beaming. Ben seemed unsure until he looked up and saw his face.
“You’re just being an ass, aren’t you?”
Callum laughed.
“It’s a… personal philosophy that I’m still working through.”
“Finding the right words.”
“Exactly. And it's fun to see a know it all like you struggle.”
“So - let me challenge it for a second. You work for Valor. Do you really care about the popularity of the company? I mean, I’ve never heard of it.”
“You don’t watch wrestling. You just Google men.”
Ben rolled his eyes, amused.
“Yeah but that’s beside the point. I haven’t heard of it, and you’re the star, right?”
“Newly crowned, but yes.”
“So, you should want me to know of the company.”
“Sure.”
“Would you prefer me know the company, or you?”
Callum thought for a moment. He adjusted himself on the counter.
“Both, preferably.”
“But which comes first?”
A beat.
“Probably… me.”
“Okay. So, you work… or you wrestle… or yourself, primarily.”
“I wrestle for the idea of me.”
Ben was amused by the idea. He pushed the bag of chips aside and hopped onto the counter, swinging his legs as he sipped his champagne.
“I’m a brand guy…”
Callum interrupted him.
“A freelance brand guy.”
“Yes.”
“So a brand guy sometimes.”
“Yeah…”
“When he feels like it.”
“Yeah. Okay. Shut up and listen.”
The two laughed as Ben continued on.
“You wrestle for the idea of you. That’s what you said.”
“I am aware.”
“That’s a cool idea. A cool concept. Let’s unpack that.”
“You’re not in college anymore, don’t say that word.”
“Unpacking now: so you have successfully separated Chris Callum the man with Chris Callum the wrestler. Right?”
“I did once. Not anymore, I don’t think.”
“Okay… so is there a difference between the two?”
Callum thought about it.
“Well, I came out. That was a big thing. I sort of stopped wrestling so there was no need for that facade… during the CWC days that apparently you are aware of. Now it’s mostly on the table. I’ve been around long enough that there’s no need to fake it.”
“Mmm..”
A moment.
“I think that’s fascinating. The duality of man. But you’ve become something else. Not your true form. Not your on camera persona. But a mix of the two.”
Ben pursed his lips. Another long pause.
“I’m thinking about how to promote a man who is neither real nor fake.”
“You don’t. Everyone fucking hates me, I’ve given up on spin.”
They shared a laugh, but Ben broke out of it quickly.
“Then why keep going? You’ve reached the Apex… after all.”
Callum rolled his eyes at the corny joke. But somewhere in that, there was a good question, and Ben knew it. And he waited as Callum thought.
“Sometimes I want that fame, you know? I want everyone to recognize that I’m great at what I do. But other times, I like the idea of being the best… and I mean objectively the best… and no one knows about me. Or they choose not to acknowledge it. Like a secret. I like being an underdog. I like being the shadows. But it hurts, you know? Everyone wants to feel loved… wants to be cherished and all that. But I’m so used to working the dark that I’ve found comfort in it, you know?”
Ben stared back at him.
“Too sappy?”
A beat. Ben shook his head.
“Stars, hide your fires. Let light not see my black and deep desires. That’s my favorite quote from-”
“Macbeth. I think it’s beautiful too.”
“But we don’t quote Shakespeare because he worked in the shadows. Because he was a secret.”
They stared at each other. There was a spark, and they both knew it.
A long moment passed. Smiles.
“Come on, Chris!”
Katie barreled out of the room, shattering everything, as she pulled her purse over her shoulder. Chris broke his trance once again, but turned back to Ben. Ben nodded and Chris went to follow his sister.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
Her voice was quivering. Tears were welling in her eyes. Her breaths were sharp and shallow as she quickly moved to the door and flung it open.
“Katie… stop… breathe!”
“Get in the car!”
In an instant, they were in the car. She started it up, but didn’t drive off. Chris kept his hand on the gear shift. She gripped the steering wheel tight as she lost grip on her emotions. It all came running out quickly and violently.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“He touched me. He touched me and I told him not to but he-”
“Hey, look at me.”
She did, taking in sharp, deep breaths.
“You’ve been doing this for a while, apparently. Has no one ever touched you before?”
Emily slapped his hands away from the gear shift. That fear turned to rage. He quickly restrained her, but she pushed him off and held her hands in the air. He decided to let her try to gather herself, and she did, if only for a moment.
“It doesn’t make it okay.”
“But it’s not new.”
“No… Jesus fucking Christ Chris.”
They both sat in silence for a moment. Finally, Chris broke it.
“Look I don’t know what you want me to say… what you want me to do… I don’t know how to deal with this shit.”
The rage returned in her.
“I’m not… fuck I’m not asking you to deal with it! I’m here - I left - I’m dealing with it right now. So just fucking sit there and shut up while I deal with it!”
He did. Moments passed. She flipped down the mirror to check her makeup. When she saw it, she decided there was nothing she could do. But she did turn to him.
“You don’t get what I’m doing and that’s fine. But when I say it’s not sexual I mean it. They know it’s not supposed to be sexual I make that… very… clear to them before I ever see them. But this one wouldn’t stop. He kissed me on the cheek and I told him that’s not okay I don’t like that I’m just here to be arm candy but sometimes they need a reminder, so I kept going. Then he put his hand on my knee and that was fine because I said it was fine in the message but nothing above the knee - that’s the limit. And then he kept going and going and he leaned in and I should have stopped him earlier - maybe he thought I was okay with it - because I have to flirt… that’s like… part of the job I lead them on and make them think they have a chance but I gave him way too much room and then suddenly he was right there on top of me and I don’t know…”
She took a breath. Chris’ mouth was agape.
“Fuck.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to go in there?”
“No. God… fuck… no. Just…”
“What?”
A moment. She finally seemed to breathe. For real. Air in her lungs. The redness faded from her face.
“Can you… drive?”
He nodded.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course. Anything.”
She gripped his hand - so tightly even he winced - and she spoke to him honestly.
“It’s happened before. It’ll probably happen again. I’m fine. It’s just scary. Okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah…”
He wanted to tell her that he hated her like this. That this “job” would never work out. She lets herself gets too close. She needs a middle man.
But now wasn’t the time.
He stepped out of the car to switch positions with Katie. He turned back towards the house and saw Ben in the window. He tried to think of what to do. A thumbs up would be too crass. A shrug too alarming. He figured Ben knew what happened in that room - what would make a girl come running out, looking for freedom and safety.
So he settled with a wave. And Ben waved back.
He hoped that wouldn’t be the last time they saw each other.